Feeling Overwhelmed And Like A Victim

So, this has been a real mental health nightmare for me lately. My neighbors have hired commercial pest control companies that blast the place with pressure washers and backpacks filled with chemicals, turning them into a cloud of aerosol droplets floating around like some freaky sci-fi movie scene.

For the fourth year in a row, my bad luck buddies are back at it again. And guess what? Now all four sides of my home are covered. They never spray at the same time, so I'm stuck playing this stupid guessing game about when to open my windows-when my 90-year-old mom needs fresh air but can't use AC thanks to her blood thinners.

I get it-I totally do. My neighbors want to protect their kids and pets. But there are safer alternatives like topical bug repellent or just common sense measures that don't involve spray-painting the neighborhood with chemicals without anyone's consent.

We've been in this house for 57 years, and now I'm literally ill from this selfishness. Tried talking it out with three of them, but let's just say they're not exactly cooperative. I even reached out to the board of health and the EPA in Massachusetts, but turns out no one is stepping up because these companies can use whatever products they want without any regulation.

All my neighbors keep saying their chemicals are "all-natural." Yeah, sure,like if someone said water was "all-harmless" just because it's made from hydrogen and oxygen. They're playing word games to avoid the fact that every active ingrdeient is a chemical compound. But still, how morally right is it to spray something into someone else's home and lungs without their say-so?

Sure, we check for ticks when we come in from outside, but getting sick from mosquitos? It's pretty rare here in Massachusetts. For the most part, bugs are just annoying.

Every time I smell those sprays or hear them buzzing around my place, my mind spirals. Like, how can something that repels deer not bother a human wth a nose? My brain goes haywire knowing there's nothing I can do about it. I've tried everything from talking to them to writing letters and making calls, but no dice.

My agoraphobia is off the charts now. Can't even go for a car ride or use my bike because the spray is everywhhere. Not safe anywhere-not even in bed. Plus, it's not even working. Remember that time I was over at Joe's? The chemicals were thick as fog, yet we both got gnats all over us.

I'm usually calm and passive, but sometimes dark thoughts creep in about stink bombs or something equally crazy. But retaliating would just open the floodgates for their revenge on me.