Lost and feeling pretty panicked

Tried social worker or carer?

Called the crisis line, safeguarding is handling it.

First things first, definitely talk to your doctor because they can guide you towards other places where you might be able to get the help you need. Oh yeah, and don't forget to check the government website for more info-it's like a treasure trove of information.

Now, if you end up living on your own, think about whether you'd be able to buy a place with the money from selling your house. If that's not in the cards, renting is probably your best bet. By the way, don't forget to ask your local council about housing association spots-they sometimes hand these over to private companies to manage. And if you've got medical issues like me, there might be a bit of priority given to you.

Thirdly-and this one's really important-try stepping outide more often. Even just going as far as the front door or ito your garden can make a huge difference.When fear creeps in, just stay wiht it and work through those feelings. It''s not gonna be easy at first, but over time, you'll see progress. Keep pushing yourself bit by bit, because buidling confidence is key here.

Oh, and one more thing-if you're going to rent and your savings are limited, you might be able to get housing benefit or even income support. The good news is that your PIP won't change because it's not means-tested, which can really help when other benefits aren't so generous.

There's a ton of help out there, believe me. Fingers crossed for you!

Thank you for your advice. Last week, I contacted the mental health crisis line, my general practitioner, and Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB). My noes from those calls are incomplete because of how exhausted I am. The proceeds from selling our house won't cover a down payment on another property.

The rental money might last one or two years at most, but I haven't rented independently in 17 years. My husband pressured me to add £62,000 worth of his personal debts to the mortgage last year. He threatened that if I refused, he would lose his job and the house could be repossessed. When he tried to include another £50,000 in business debts, the mortgage provider said it wasn't possible.

He filed for divorce last week and already has a solicitor despite not having served me with any papers yet. He's threatening further financial retaliation if I ask for spousal support. We share half of our mortgage equally. Last week, he became very angry and intimidating when discussing the division of assets. He never accounted for my potential financial losses beyond half of what we earn from the house.
He is upset about his pension being included in the settlement and furious that there might be provisions supporting dependent men. His behavior has become controlling and threatening; I haven't felt threatened by him until now, although he has been neglectful and financially abusive throughout our marriage.

My GP referred me for an adult safeguarding assessment last Monday. The team is also assisting me. My husband discouraged me from working outside the home since 2008. Until 2020, I worked exclusively for him; afterwards, my only income was his housekeeping allowance. Personal Independence Payment (PIP) was approved last October.

He often belittled me by referring to my PIP as a handout paid for by "taxpayers like me," which he then controlled by insisting on how it should be spent. There won't be much equity left in the house now. The CAB is arranging various support departments to call me back-one will provide a benefits walkthrough, and another about divorce proceedings.

I spoke with my PTSD therapist today but haven't found her helpful so far. Tomorrow I need to talk to someone who specializes in homelessness assistance. My current situation isn't resolved yet since the house hasn't been put on the market (he's currently decorating). If he were to evict me, it wuld take 56 days before services could help.

He returned home calmer after talking with his solicitor Friday night. He understands the legal process better now and appears more willing to cooperate for now. We are staying civil but I have retreated to my bedroom. For now, he says he will continue paying my housekeeping allowance while we live together, withut restricting access to WiFi or other utilities.

We discussed how the divoce proceedings might proceed, which is daunting. He warned me of what not to do legally. I need to find a solicitor soon but plan to consult with Citizens Advice first for guidance.

Regarding my mental health, I hope to get social support to accompany me during stressful times and help prompt self-care measures when I feel overwhelmed or disoriented. There are cameras outside our home as well, which adds another layer of anxiety.
I canceled an eye appointment because leaving the house causes significant stress.My ex-husband used to drive me places for the past nine years. Without him, going out is incredibly difficult.Even simple tasks like visiting Tesco have resulted in panic attacks and loss of bodily control.

When I visited my family's nurse recently due to a health issue, I experienced more meltdowns and had multiple toilet accidents. It's clear that I need ongoing support, and I'm hoping for an assessment soon to address these needs. Thank you again for your reply.

You're welcome. Honestly, from what you've said, it sounds like he's always been kind of a control freak-i mean, encouraging ur agoraphobia to make you more dependent on him is just messed up. He has you totally isolated and didn't even like the idea of you working because that would give you too much independence for his liking. And having cameras around your house to spy on you? I don't know how to wrap my head around how twisted and wrong that is.

But here's the thing: while it might not seem possible riight now, when things start to calm down, you'll find yourself again. It's going to be worth everything in the end. Just remember to be your own person and never give away your poewr like this ever again. Take care of yourself, okay? x

thanks a lot! i guess i hadn't noticed what he was up to back then, but i'm starting to see it now. i really hope i can get my strengtth bacck. thanks so much for all the support. xx

Another forum on this site focuses specifically on depression and anxiety and has higher activity levels.

You might consider joining that community as well.

The website address for the forum is healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

Thanks a bunch! You're so kind <3