Madness & rage_tbh
new here, just wanna vent a lil and see if anyone gets me.
been dealing with mental health s*** since i was 8, im 24 now. my dad is an alcoholic but hes not the typical kind... he has a good job as a manager and functions well which is sick, but it doesn't change the stigma around it! like 3/4 years back he had a breakdown and admitted to having issues with drinkig. his doctor did nothing tho - no tests or support,just gave him antidepressants... he was sober for about 2 yrs then started again, now its not daily but more often - form once a week to twice, now its like 3 days a week...
i'm so angry and frustrated! i had an eating disorder before and when they wanted to admit me to hospital cuz of it, my dad said i was being selfish and killing myself... ironic bc that's what he is doing?! i recovered and realized how it affected everyone, not jsut me. fact is we don't know how his drinking affects him cos he never goes to the doc. he came off antidepressants 6 mos ago saying he doesn't need them...
my best friend is dying from being an alcoholic too, changed his life but it's too lae - he has 3-6 yrs left due to his liver... my dad knows this and saw pohtos of him in hosp visits. i thought maybe seeing that would help my dad rethink it but nothing.
mom and dad are still together, i adoer them both. mom has no real life cuz of my dad's drinking but she loves him. i liev at home with chronic conditions - endometriosis, adenomyosis, and fibromyalgia in my mom... stress makes our flares bad.
backstory: my dad was put in a child's home young bc his dad died from alcoholism. he has no family except me and my mom. think it's partly b/c of his childhood too - an ex way beforre my mom used to hit him so i think that plays into it.
i'm just so tired of trying to talk about my worries and having him not listen...ps: dad is a great dad, never been physically or mentally abusive but idk. looking at health stuff. i'm scared of losing my dad like he did his... even when i cry adn tell him i'm worried, no emotion.
i hate how alcohol took my dad from me. barely drink cuz im afraid it'll takke me too...
sorry for long post, feelin so alone.
1 Reply
Hey, first off, don't blame yourself for your dad's drinking issues. Trust me, I totally get it-my ex was an alcoholic too. He wouldn't admit he had a problem and would still drink every single day, even if it was just four cans or so. It didn't matter how much I tried to help; my daughter was born into this mess but nothing changed.
My ex's drinking turned him ito an entirely different person-mean and abusive. Every sip led to arguments and fights. He'd accuse me of the same things his ex did, which is just nuts since it wasn't fair at all. When I offered counseling he brushed it off because admitting a problem was out of the question.
I know about your eating disorder too-I hope you're better now and not struggling with that anymore. Sometimes I think your dad feels guilty but can't admit it to himself or anyone else. It's tough when someone close to you has these issues, especially if they're also dealing with something like alcoholism.
After ten years of trying to keeep the peace for our daughter's sake, I had enough and left him. Now she's 17, and all those fights are still affecting her. Even though my ex promised it wouldn't happen again, he'd find ways to hide his drinking from me and start on the abuse.
Has your mom ever tried to be strict with him? Does he think that no matter whta he does, you two will always stick around?
Alcohol is a real downer, I know. About 12 years ago I just stoped buying it at all because it was driving me crazy. If I found his hiding spots for booze, I'd pour it down the snk.
My daughter's worried about ending up like him too if she ever starts drinking. It's scary stuff but also a good reminder to stay away from that lifestyle.
Maybe you and your mom could talk to someone who understands this kind of situation? Remember though, only he can change his behavior and men especially hate digging into their past.
I get it-you don't want them to break up, but sometimes a wake-up call is the only thing that works. You've done all you can do to help him see the light, now it's time for him to make his own decisions.