Who am i now tbh？

so my bio is kinda vague so i'll spill some tea here.
im a girl in my 30s.

when i was little, teachers would always tell my mom how nice and sweet i was. but now at 32, it's like all that changed. i can feel sad when people cry but if someone has a neutral face, im totally lost. my bf says he picks up on emotions easiyl while i'm clueless.

and my anger issues are off the charts. if i drop something twice in a row it tuns into full blown rage and threats to myself or whoever is around. i used to not be like this at all but dont remember when it started getting bad.

also, im outta touch with people. in the past i had friends but now its hard cause everyone seems two-faced and dramatic. even dudes only wanna be friends bc they want something more. been isolating myself for months, dunno if its my bff or just me losing faith in true friendships.
the biggest regret is ending things w my first love years ago. think about it a lot and wonder how it affected him.

commitment has always been hard for me. dated short-term but now ive been with this guy 3 yrs (my longest relationship ever). i dont cheat, but last dec i took off his ring cause he had rsky pic w an ex on ig. still havent gotten over that.

im here to work on my anger stuff but realize there's a lot more going on too.
if u relate or have advice, would love to chat with u all.
thanks for reading this mess lol