Dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts
I was here a few months ago discussing my journey with antidepressants. Now, I've discovered that the man I've loved for 12 years has been talking to other women online. It's breaking my heart. Sitting here with pills and alcohol, I'm contemplating what my life woudl be like if I ended it. But every time I look at my children, I can't bear to think about how this would affect them. The depression is unbearable, and I feel lost, with no self-esteem and no love for life left. I am trying so hard to stay strong, but the struggle is overwhelming.
4 Replies
sorry 2 hear u r goin thru this idk bout ur stuff but u shud def talk 2 ur gp abt it & get some help set up for u...
You'll feel better! It's not worth wrecking your kids' lives or your own over this. Some people find it harmless to chat online-I do too, since no one knows who you really are and you'd never meet up anyway. So it's not like you're betraying anoyne. If my ex were to actually meet someone from the Internet, that would be different though-she gets why.
I've talked to lots of folks online without ever stepping into flirtation or anything dodgy. My ex and I were together for 25+ years-we both "love" each other, but she's not in love with me anymore? Even if we aren't a couple anymore, we still respect each other. If my internet chats got too flirty or sexy, I'd feel like I was letting myself down-and my ex down as well. Trust is super important in any relationship. Sit down and talk it out! Tell him how you feel-let him know he's hurting you.
You might find the whole thing was just innocent chitchat-or that he was looking for advice to surprise you on a birthday or anniversary? Courage from trust, faith, and love should help you open up rather than doing something drastic. I'm in my 60s now, still living opposite my ex, taking her to dance classes because I can't do it myself anymore. Talk to him-do this for yourself first, then your kids.
Good luck! Take care, please. I'm Derek, just chatting with someone else online named Mary. She'll trust me when I tell her about this-because of the faith and trust we have in each other, she hopes I've helped out here.
I hope the circumstances were as simple and harmless as you described. Sadly, they weren't just innocent conversations. I'm happy to hear that you maintain a positive relationship with your ex. It's difficult to let go of such a long history. Thanks for your supportive message,Derek.
Things might work out if you talk. No excuses, we all screw up. Mistakes fixable with discussion. Sometimes too late though. Don't ruin your life over it. Kids get affected too. Talk it out if possible. Good luck.