Just sharing some random thoughts honestly

Will I ever get over this pain? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. But do I see a reason for all of this? For me, there has to be some purpose behind everything-emotions included.

I need to figure out what that is-or at least accept it if I can't find it. It's not like the pain just goes away; it's gonna stick around until my last breath, you know? Even when I'm gone, I hope I feel fulfilled or at peace,knowing I tried my damnedest with what I had.
If I look back and think, "I didn't make much of a difference," that's okay. But if I can say, "I didn't hurt anyone," well, honestly, that's good enough for me. And if I somehow managed to be positive influences on myself or people around me-that would just be awesome.

And if I manage to survive all this turmoil, man, that in itself is a huge win.