Need To Vent-anyone Up For Listening?

Hey all, it's been quiet on my end lately. My wife had her gallbladder taken out on December 19th, and things got dicey-she ended up in the hospital via ambulance rigth around New Year's Eve. She was there for four nights, really ill with an infection. Now she's home but still shaky, and the dcos are still scratching their heads about why her recovery isn't going as smoothly as they hoped.

I've also been dealing with my eight-year-old son who is absolutely everything to me-he's a miracle baby borrn through IVF after a series of heartbreaking miscarriages. At 53, I'm definitely an old dad now.

I've tried taking care of both my wife and him while handling work sttress, but it all got too much-I had a nervous breakdown and am on weeek two of being signed off from work. My boss is great, but honestly? The thought of going back next week has me feeling pretty anxious. Plus, I'm still trying to manage childcare, which isn't easy when my wife goes out for coffee with friends as her spirits lift while mine are sagging.

The doc gave me mirtazapine and it's helped me sleep at night, but anxiety and depression are still hanging around, and sometimes I have dark thoughts. My wife doesn't fully get mental health stuff so we butt heads a lot about my time off work despite the fact that she admits it helps with childcare. We're in this weird up-and-down cycle where everything feels fragile.

I don't know why I'm here today other thaan to say things are tough and I'm kind of lost on how to get through all of this, and honestly? The thought of reaching out felt like maybe there's some light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for reading this-I appreciate any advice or just knowing someone gets it.

Cheers,
Redcol