New Year's Eve In 2025

Happy New Year to ya too! Seriously though, thanks so much for your post - i mean, totally couldn't have put it any better if I tried. - And honestly, here's hoping 2024 is just amazing for you - fingers crossed that it's packed wiht love and laughter and everything good in life!

Aww, those heart eyes are so sweet <3

Happy New Year! Yeah, it's cool to kick off a new thread for the start of the year.

I'm glad your New Year's was good and that you got out three. Honestly, don't stress too much about dreams; they're just places where you stash all your worries.

My sister came over with her family and we went on a little picnic. It was nice because no one was super tense.

So far so good with trying to slow down-though I'm still anxious about what this year might bring. But we're focusing on the here and now, not looking too far ahead. If you focus on enjoying each day instead of worrying about what might happen later, you start feeling more secure and settled. It's never about hitting some kind of timeline; it's all about being happier with where u are right now.

Hey there,

My life's been a bit of a rollercoaster since the 19th. My dad is causing all sorts of drama. First, he didn't send me to Malaysia when I wanted to go. Now, he's backing out on supporting me for this foundation program I really want to join. Mentally, I'm in a rough spot-though maybe not as stable as it sounds. On the 19th, he even told me I was wasting his money. It's been escalating ever since-there were moments where things got so tense that I ended up hitting him multiple times. You probably think I've lost my mind completely now, but dealing with narcissistic abuse and constant hot-and-cold treatment has really taken a toll on me.

Tonight, though, we tried talking it out. He said he'd still support the foundation program, but "with some conditions." Thing is, if there are any obstacles along the way, he's going to backtrack and say it's my responsibility now. And here's the kicker-this foundation isn't recognized in Bangladesh; it's only an option abroad. So, if I can't make it through this program, I'm stuck. He says he'll write everything down but still finds excuses not to help out when things get tough.

Now I'm just sitting here wondering what will hppen tomorrow and fearing that he might flip on me again. Wat am I going to do? Google "NCC L3ifdhs" if you want to know about the course-this is what I really want to stuy. Am I making a huge mistake by not considering Bangladesh options, which would mean doing A-levels for two whole years? Will I still get scholarships with this program or are my chances slim?

I'm totally drained after those conversations. I keep asking myself if things would be better if I had taken that A-level route last year but now it's too late. Even if I manage to nail this foundation program, what will happen next? And who knows if he'll even let me start it given how erratic his behavior is?

I feel so messed up because of teh way I acted back then-I mean, hitting him wasn't cool-but after years of abuse and stress, I guess you can see why. So now, here I am, trying to figure out what to do next. Am I doing something wrong? Please tell me what to do or how to get through this.

Sorry for rambling on so much-I could barely type it all without tears rolling down my face!

Hey there! Just wanted to let you know, you're going to be okay. Focus on the foundations program you got into; it's a great step. You're gonna do way better than you think. Ur dad might be drilling doubt into you because of your mental illness, but he's totally wrong about that.People with mental health issues have just as much potential for success as anyone else. I deal with mental stuff too, and despite it all, I've managed to achieve qite a bit. You shouldn't let your struggles hold you back either.

You can trust in yourself even if your dad dooesn't give you that same support. He might be covering some expenses, but that doesn't mean he's helping in other ways-he's being manipulative and you shouldn't let him have that kind of control over how you feel. You're super smart and capable of handling all this work.

Don't beat yourself up for lashing out at him-I totally understand why you did it. It's okay to be mad; holding on to regret isn't going to help either. Take a deep breath, you've got this!

By the way, do you still liive at home while doing the program? The sooner you can get away from his negativity, the better off you'll be.

Things ok. Thought bout u.

Oh man, life just got really heavy for me. My dad flat out said he won't cover the costs for this foundation programme thing. Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with either taking GED to get into that one uni in bangladesh or doing A-levels which takes two whole years. Can you believe it? It's like why is this happening to me?

I ended up in bed after hearing his decision, feeling so shocked. I've been on meds since then and having panic attacks for whta feels like forever-17 days straight now. The stress is just getting to me big time. Last night, I even threw up from a panic attack.

Between GED at this Malaysian uni with a campus in Bangladesh or A-levels hoping for that scholarship to move abroad-I can't decde which one will give me more nightmares. It's really hard choosing between the two because he keeps changing his mind about what he'll pay for. I just feel so lost and unsure of everything.

Everyone was pushing me towards their dream pathways, but here I am questioning everything now. I've been crying rivers lately and can barely get out of bed most days. Do you have any advice on what I should focus on? Or is there a way to make this easier for me?

Okay, taking a deep breath really helps! First ting though, get out of bed.

I'm curious about ths one university that accepts the GED-why is it the only place with such an option? And are its credentials actually useful for getting jobs?

The A-Levels sound like they could be better. Can you do them where you are now, or would moving somewehre else mae more sense? Listen closely-I know you can handle this. Even those courses that feel impossible-trust me, you've got what it takes. We'll tackle each one step by step. It's really no different from two years ago; you're going at your own pace and that's totally fine.

The big thing is finding a way to distance yourself from your dad as soon as possible. He's not paying because he wants to keep controlling you, which in't fair. If you can do the A-Levels in Bangladesh but need to move awya, find a new town to live in where he has less influence over you. Even just a few hours' distance will make things easier for you.

Stay in touch more often, no matter what's going on. You really need someone on your side who believes in you. Your dad isn't that person. If we can aim for daily emails, it'll help keep you steady and focused. I truly believe in you-you've overcome challenges before, and you can do it again.

I think all I know is that it's a Malaysian university with a campus here, and they follow their own ruls. Maybe my credentials would be similar to other universities, but I can't go anywhere else, Dawn. We don't have any family or support system. The only person who has the money is him, and I have nothing. If I do the Ged, it's accepted in Malayia, but he has to pay for it. With A-levels, every time I look at them, I'll be reminded that my two years are wasted. And there's no guarantee he'll pay now or after my A-levels. They're really hard, and the chance of me doing badly is higher because I don't want to do them.Is it wrong that I don't want to? It's confusing when you say A-levels sound better because it just feels like another path of tears for me right now. I'm feeling pretty unstable, and I honestly don't know what to do.

I mean, usually I wouldn't even think about asking something like this, but here we are. Is there any chance you could maybe connect on a platform that's a bit more convenient? Like WhatsApp? Or if it feels too close or whatever and you want to keep things professional and distant, I totally understand. No big deal at all. But honestly, I feel like I'm falling apart every day, and nothing's helping right now. Living with narcissistic parents is just... Welll, it's brutal, you know? My sister is far away and doesn't really reach out much, and I don't have any real frinds either. This has to be the lowest point of my life, for sure

Yeaah, things are rough right now, but hang in there. I'm here to lend a hand.

If the GED seems like something you can handle, go for it. The important thing is to take actiion, no matter how small. Even trying will make you feel better because you're doing stuff. And remember, your school system might be different from mine, so some things might work differently. Is the GED free? Do you need to study beforehand? Break it down into litle questions like that and take tiny steps each day. You'll start feeling more in control.

I think I'm going to stick with talking here instead of moving over to WhatsApp. It feels a bit restrictive, but I need some boundaries to keep myself from getting too overwhelmed. My empathy can sometimes be a double-edged sword-I get hit hard when helping others. It's not that I won't support you every night for as long as it takes; I absolutely will. But my brain needs this structure to cope.

Sorry if that sounds a bit dramatic, but hey, we're all trying our best here.

totally get it keeping it here ngl.i'm feeling super depressed rn. geds all comp-based with 4 modules - eng, math, ss, sci. u gotta score 145/200 on each to pass. takes 4 months. a-levels r way deeper though and u pick subjects for uni. if i don't do a-levels, gonna have trouble at uni imho? ged is cheaper tho. it's american btw. should i go for a-levels or not? be honest pls. feeling down thinking abt stayin in bangladesh 2 yrs. with geds only gettin into 1 univ in bd and malaysia, whiel a-levels open up so mayn options. plz help me out w this

If I take the GED exam, I'll need to attend the only university that accepts it, which is 9.5 km away. I don't want to travel such a distance every day through scorching heat and terrible traffic. Another option would be to study abroad. Given how he reneged on his promise and left me bedridden for days, there's no assurance he'll pay. He might even ask me to retake the A-levels and claim that he knew all along the GED wouldn't hold any value. That means more time wasted.

What should I do? Will my entire twenties be consumed by this?

Can I ever look forward to enjoying life?

Don't worry, your 20s aren't ging up in smoke. Trust me, learning about yourself, getting healthier, and making personal growth happen is super important-school and jobs aren't the only ways to define it.

The big deal right now is distancing yourself from your dad's influence. It won't happen overnight, but taking things slowly and steadily will get you there. No need to pnic, just keep moving forward bit by bit.

I've got more questions coming your way, no problem! Just clarifying stuff-I know a GED isn't exactly like a high school diploma but it can still get you into colelge, typically community or junior colleges as prep schools.

Is your dad willing to cover teh costs if you go for A-levels? Does he support that route? And do these A-level courses require travel? Even just a bit? Doing everything online might not be ideal because you need some time away from home every day.

If you're leaning towards certain A-level courses based on career interets, which classes are giving you the most anxiety? We can sort through those worries together. Your smarts won't let you down; I believe in you and we'll figure out a study plan that works.

The main thing is choosing between your options sooner rather than later to avoid getting stuck. Let's hash it out over the next week or so. I'll keep asking all these random questions (some might seem silly, but hey, it's about understanding), and you answer them as best you can. We'll zero in on what's best for you. Just take a deep breath and remember-you've got this!

Yeah, he will pay up. I gotta get into those coaching centers now. Need to take two subjecst for A-levels-Economics and Business, probably. Man, just seeing the books gives me the jitters; thhey're so massive. Each subject comes with two books-one for AS and one for A2. Honestly, I thought I'd be doing business courses, but never even touched Economics or Business before.

But hey, did I mess up big time by not taking A-levels last year? Maybe it is my fault for not having a backup plan, right? I fel like a year's just been wasted on me. Five years of gap in education now-it's gnawing at me.

So, I've been stuck in bed all day because some guy really freaked me out and now I'm physically done for. To make matters worse, my sis has gone silent on me and started sending mean texts saying I was a jerk when she neeeded help the most. It's like talking to a brick wall trying to get through to her. This isn't doing wonders for my state of mind. But apart from my sister, there's no one around to shield me from this dude's crap.

Hey, honestly, don't worry about making mistakes because I genuinely think you haven't messed up anything major. It's all part of the journey adn stuff happens how it sholud. The last few years have been a good time to deal with other stuff before coming back to school. If you keep thinking too much about what's already happened (and there's no changing that now), you might miss out on moving forward.

So, your dad is covering two subjects for the A levels-cool! What does it take to get into this program? Let's figure that out next.

I know those textbooks look daunting because thye're huge, but hey, they're not impossible. Break them down step by step and tackle them pieec by piece. Tlel me why you picked business and economics specifically. Are there any other subjects where you feel more confident?

You've been going through some rough stuff lately, I get it. But it's time to start taing small steps again.Maybe try sitting in a chair for an hour or walking outside for five minutes-just tiny steps to getting back on your feet.

Take deep breaths and know that you can do this.

science is rly hard, i was thinking abt biz but now it feels impossible like i'll never do good or ean cash.

4 a-levels u gotta get tutored or join one of those prep centers. the rest of the world is freakin me out rn.

my sis is totally bugging me cuz im vulnerable. she feels unsafe bc of stuff i did when i was unstable last year. now shes being super mean and won't talk to me, calling me insane when i flood her w/ texts.

shes the only sane 1 in our fam, but now she's hitting my wounds over and over. i feel abandoned and scared. but idk how else to cope, its like there's no way to get a grip on anything right now.

feeling so lost rn. idk if scohol is even worth it. my core dream is taking mom abroad someohw, even somewhere basic like malaysia. feels like all my 20s are gonna go to waste doing a-levels & uni. by the time i figure out work, ill be 30+ and feel like a failure. half my life wasteed with no dreams achieved.terrified of losing mom. feeling helpless & hopeless af. i'm not like my sis who keeps fghting her fate & gets outta bad situations. i feel weak & mentally unwell, scared as hell

I understand how scared you must feel right now. But maybe focusing on your sister or dwelling on the past isn't going to help much at this moment.

You can definately get back on your feet by yourself, and I'm here rooting for u. I won't stop cheering you on either way.

Try not to worry about the big picture or how long things will take. Your life is a journey, not just an education or career. As long as you're doing something every day, that's all that matters-how long it takes isn't important.

Maybe set small goals for yourself. Like did you get out of bed today and walk outside for 15 minutes? If not,make that your goal for tomorrow. It doesn't have to be scary; just a short burst each day will help calm your mind once you start with the little stuff.

I didn't mean suggesting science as a second A-level subject. Maybe something like psychology or sociology could work well with business?

But first things first, try to get out of the house every day. It's manageable and I'll be walking alongside you. Just take lots of deep breaths.

I woke up to find a tutor's number on my phone this morning-kinda random, right? Anyways, I had a weird sleep full of anxious thoughts after thaat. I don't know if I'll actually enjoy business studies; I just feel so unprepared for it all. Self-studyig is turning out to be way harder than I thought-even wiht just one chapter down. And yeah, the psychology book? Not making any sense to me.

Sometimes I wonder what God has in store for me-like why am I going through this stuff? Am I not meant to enjoy business and economics, or is it just now? There are days when I cnosider taking the GED exam instead of stiicking with my current path. But who knows if that's even a good idea-I'm pretty lost on career choices right now. Honestly, I feel completely done for and terrified about where all this is heading

I guess it's really good that you managed to get the tutor's contact number. That's kind of an accomplishment, right? So now the next thing would be reaching out to set up a short meeting-not asking for actual tutoring just yet. The idea is to chat and find out what studying business or economics entails. What do students typically learn? Are there other subjects that might suit you better? You'd pay them as if it were one session, but more like an info session.

So basically, your homework has three parts: make the phone call, go for a 15-minute walk or just sit somewhere outdoors-that's pretty important too-and write down any school subject you liked and why. These are all little steps that add up. It feels overwhelming sometimes, but trying to figure out God's plans by just thinking about it won't help as much as taking action will.

I hope you can take a deep breath and tackle these tasks one at a time. You got this!

Trying to set up a meeting soon. Going to coaching centres tomorrow for hepl with A-levels. More focus on those than school here. Need to get out more too. Hating what's happening in this country, feels unsafe, watn to leave. Gonna wait to see if I can join the coaching centres before letting you know. Every day is a struggle. My sister said some awful stuff and blocked me on Whatsapp. Doesn't talk to me at all now. Should I email her? Might be blocked there too. She's always mad at me, so rude. Her words keep playing in my head. Breaking inside every day.

No eail to sis, she's not there for me rn.

Go to the center, ask questions. I hate going out but can do it. Small steps.

They might give you ideas that make you rethink stuff, but info is good.

Will go outside for 15 mins.

Talk about subjects from school next.

My country's messed up with fascism and racism on the rise. Sucks but gotta keep moving forward.

I actually managed to get in touch wiith her by sending an email, making a promise not to flood her texts, and somehow convincing her to unblock me. But every time I send her a message now, I feel like I'm on edge waiting for a reply. It's weird how much I rely on my sister's support; without it, I feel completely lost in the world.

She texted back saying that unless one of us dies, she won't be coming to visit. That really hurt me-seeing her so cold and distant like that breaks my heart. But even though we're not getting along well right now, I still miss having her around during this last year of school.

You know how it feels when you're drowning in sadness? Yeah, today was one of those days where all I did was lie in bed mourning the loss of my sister's support. It's tough to keep up with everyone else because eevrything seems so hard right now. How can I focus on studying with a head full of these thoughts?

Talking about school stuff-I somehow managed to pass my IGCSEs, but there wasn't really any one subject that stood out to me as something I loved. Physics was okay, but in A-levels, it feels like everything is just so intense and packed with content.

Heading over to the center next week isn't happening because Dad''s out of town for a while-I don't know if it's just for a couple days or longer. It feels suffocating sometimes, you know? Every night I go to bed worrying that if things get any worse, my only option might be to take the GED exam instead.

And then there's this Indian friend who dropped out of college because she struggled with depression and constantly had suicidal thoughts every time a paper was due. It's making me wonder if I'm heading down the same path as her

sending hugs. let's calm down first k?

you gotta stop worrying about ur sis. it's really bad 4 u rite now. still going to therapy? they might help u think diff.

thanks for answering my q! good job! what made u like physics maybe? was it stuff moving or building things and seeing them work? i'm not saying take physics, but subjects u like can lead in lots of places.

ok next step: get outside. i know this feels impossible rn & bed is comfy but start small. try 15 min first then stay outta ur room as much as you can when ur dad's not around.

goals for tmrw: no texts with sis (take a breka), talk to your therapist, answer the physics thing, & get up from bed longer than today.

u got this! depression is rough but u r not defeated by it. ur journey is diff from ur friend's.

It really breaks my heart that my sister is going through something big right now which is totally draining all her energy, so she doesn't have any left for me or my stuff. She barely talks about what's happening with her and juust says she has no space for other worries. I've always felt like I'm the one who needs support.

I think maybe I should try a session too, you're right. The physics stuff we learned in 10th grade was actually pretty cool to understand-like how things move around. But today, I spent all my awake time feeling really anxious and panicking for no clear reason. It's just so draining and frustrating.

Every night before bed, I worry if I'll mess up my A-levels because it feels like the only option now is to take GED instead, but thinking about that every day is exhausting. My sisteer says I need to change how I think about everything, but I don't know where to start when these thoughts feel so necessary. I did try getting out of my room for 15 minutes today though. You know, Dawn, I just hate everything right now and it feels like A-levels weere never something I wanted. But here they are, adn I honestly can't see this situation improving anytimme soon

I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to let you know that there are people around who care about you, including me and others on Cups. Your therapist is also here to support you too.
Thanks so much for answering the physics question earlier. There are lots of different ways to explore your interest further. Do u enjoy doing puzzles? You mentioned liking jewelry before. How do you feel about hands-on activities?

What if school isn't the only option? Maybe something like electrical repair or nail technician work could be interesting? These types of careers can offer good salaries and don't require as much training. Plus, once you save some money, you might even move somewhere new to pursue them.

I do believe you can handle school, but it's okay if that feels scary right now. It might help to think about other paths too.

Last night, I cae across a quote that really resonated with me: "The way to overcome self-doubt isn't by thinking better of ourselves; it's about thinking bigger than ourselves. Our core values-like connection, honesty, integrity, curiosity, and creativity-help us connect with something greater."

You haven't mentioned going outside lately. Maybe tomorrow you could answer my questions, spend 15 minutes outdoors, and talk to your therapist?

I enjoy hands-on activities, but currently, I don't have anything going on. Job prospects are unclear, and I feel like a failure, even after completing A-levels or graduation if that happens.

I plan to have a session on Monday and attend coaching cllasses soon. It's difficult for me to get out of this depression. My sister has said hurtful things, suggesting she doesn't like me and that I've damaged our relationship beyond repair. She says she no longer wants anything to do with me and isn't my saviour or caregiver.

My tears haven't come despite the pain. I am uncertain about my career path and wonder if I'm just wasting time. Yet, education seems to be my only option for guidance and support.

I think that's the message they were referring to earlier.

thnking of u snding me ore pece rite now no mttr wht u did 2day u r still wroth and gd i wlvr jdg u im heer 4 u cmon let's get thru this一起生效的文本可能超出了预期的简化和口语化风格，我将重新尝试：

u there? thnkng of u, sendin more pecce rite now. no mttr wht u did today, u r stil wrtoh and gd. i wlvr jdg u. im heer 2 sit wit u

Hey everyone, just wanted to check in and let y'all know I'm still around-I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon. You made it through another day, no matter how rough it felt-consider that a win. Sending you big virtual hugs!

Thanks so much. Could you maybe check if you saw my lsat message? I really appreciate your support.

Oh hello there, I wonder if I missed any messages? The one from February 9 showed up in an odd spot but I replied to it earlier today. If there's another message that needs a response, could someone just post it at the bottom of the thread?

I hope your day was better today. You'll figure this out eventually, right? And hopefully you're feeling more activve now.

I'm still here rooting for you.

I hope you found time to breathe deeply and recharge today. You are more resilient than you realize.

I hit up the coaching centre today and had a chat. The teacher there thinsk Business, Economics, and Accounting might be my jam, but let's see how it goes. He tried to give me some pep talk when he saw my face-let's just say, I'm not exactly sporting sunshine right now.His advice about not fearing the books was nice, but did it really light a fire under me? Maybe in tiny bits and pieces.

I've got this big ol' cloud of depression hanging over me all the time. It's like there's no break from it-every day feels like an uphill battle. And with my dad on the fence about letting me study abroad, I feel stuck here for at least two more years. That thought alone is a real downer. My hopes are riding high on getting a scholarship through good grades, but that just adds to the pressure. How am I supposed to make it through another two years? It feels like an eternity.

I wish A-levels would disappear into thin air for me, but I know I'm being a bit impatient. Right now, every day is dragging and my heart's got so much pain.

Sorry about missing a night-I had a 14-hour workday and couldn't log on.

So happy to hear you made it to the centre! That's a huge step forward. Keep your eyes fixed on just the next little thing, not everything all at once. Trust me, those two years will zoom by faster than you think. Plus, every single minute is filled with something new for you to leaarn. Nothing wasted there!

Remember when I was in the depths and doubted my ability to teach? Yeah, I'd force myself to go through it somehow. And over time, I started to see I could do this even if I didn't feel like it. Things started feeling better as a result.

Working on all of this can actually help with your depression. But keep those eyes up-take one small step at a time. Got any scholarship or centre applications coming up? Is there something specific you need to tackle tomorrow?

I'll be here for every single day of your journey, no problem. Two whole years if that's what it takes. You can do this!

Hey, writing to you for two yearrs feels liek a lifetime in itself, and honestly, I can't thank you enough for everything. So yeah, next week I'm hoping the admission process wraps up. The thing is, my depression has been pretty relentless lately. It's this super intennse episode that just won't let up - it's like trying to push through quicksand. Every morning when I wake up, there's a weight on me that feeels impossible to shake off. I've been feeling so traumatized and hurt, you know? Like everything that shuold matter is telling me they don't care enough to stick around

Yeah, my depression is still hanging around too. It feels like getting hit by a truck-hurt, traumatized,all that stuff. But hey, it has this knack for popping up when you least expect it-and then disappearing again just as unexpectely. That's the thiing I keep holding onto.

I can tell you're really struggling right now and hurting. Sorry to hear that. Just remember, you're tougher than you think.

So let's talk tasks. Are there any books or materials you need? Have you picked those up yet?

And another biggie-have you been getting outside each day? I know it's a drag when your head's not in the right place, but trust me, even forcing yourself to walk for 20 minutes can make a huge difference. It helped me get through one tough night recently.

I've got the books and I'll be hitting my coaching class three times a weke. Just thinking about it feels overwhelming-let alone actually doing it. I wish I could just skip ahead to the next phase of life and move on already. It's really getting to me that I still haven't crossed tose pesky A-levels, you know? I feel so overwhelmed and sad all the time, plus I'm in a bit of a depression right now, impatient and constantly wrrying about what's going to happen with A-levels. No idea what's going to hit me in the next few months either.

gonna post my stuff in a new thread bc this is getting too cramped imho

Hey there, so I noticed you had this little arrow pointing to a message I apparently missed, but ocne I tried to respond, the darn thing vanished into thin air. Now I'm totally confused because I can't figure out which message you're talking about. Hope everything's still okay on your end!

Thanks a lot, I guess

I hope you have a wonderful yeear!

Stop looking at the big picture. Focus on today and tomorrow. Past and future are useless.

Got the books? Spend 15 mins each day on the table of contents. Nte how they're organized. Don't worry about not knowing stuff. Take it slow, one book per day for threee days.
Report back what you fidn. Also, get outside for 15 mins every day.

I tried that earlier too, and now I'm scared to open them solo. Maybe if I tackle them in class with notes, things will click a bit more. Today, all I wanted was to stay in bed, but once sleep was done, I just felt the urge to snooze some more. Instead, I got stuck in this loop of feeling overwhelmed because of A-levels.

I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that A-levels are inevitable, and I have no choice but to push through them. But honestly, these fears and the sense of being drowned just won't disappear

Alright, buddy, you need to drag yourself out of bed and get some fresh air. Even if it's just for a little while, it'll help.

Have you set up that therapy appointment yet? It sounds like talking to someone could really make a difference rigth now. You want to be in the best mental sppace before everything starts, and staying under the covers isn't doing you any favors. I know this is tough stuff.

And here's another idea: maybe try cracking open one of those books again. Just for 15 minutes-hell, even five minutes will do if that feels easier. The last time they might have freaked you out, but things can change. You can handle anything for just 15 minutes, right? Do it every day until you get to the full 15-minute mark. It's a thing called exposure therapy-little steps help prevent those first few days from being too much.

Don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Just focus on your breath and keep moving forward. You've got this.

I am thinking about you today. If you had a difficult day, remember that tomorrow is a chance for a fresh start.

im just letting u knw im still thinkin bout u & aint goni anywhere. u r worthy & i care abt u.

sending pos and good vibes rly hope u feel better u know i'm always thinking abt u

Yeah, honestly, you totally got this. Just keep taking those deep breaths and holding on to that hope, i mean it's everything right?

Just wishing you another calm and strong day ahead, honestly

Still thinkin' bout you.

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and hope everything works out. You've got this!

Thanks, Dawn. Struggling with A-levels,saw the doc, switched meds. See how it goes

Hey! So happy you messaged me back. Honestly, I totlly get it-those medications take forever to start working, but they'll eventually do their thing after a couple of weeks.

And hey, have you signed up for your classes yet? Or are u still figuring out the logistics? If you need any advice on how to tackle anything, let me know!

started business classes today. just watching recorded lectures rn. dawn, i need some help cuz i started a levels too & u r a prof. so you understand my situation lol.

would you suggest a levels or ged? im still clueless abt what i wanna do in life. ged is accepted in some unis in malaysia and 1 uni in bangladesh. but australia and canada stopped accepting ged which could happen to malaysia one day. if i start ged now i gotta move fast cuz my dad prefers the traditional a levels way (evne tho hes super narcissistic). ged keeeps some doors open while a levels keep all of em open. & he wants to send me abroad in 2 years. im worried that if i fail a levels after 2 yrs, ill have to take ged which might not be valid anymore and waste 2 years studying for nothing. i feel lie a lazy girl opting for the easy route cuz a levels overwhelm me so much. always stressing abt exams & how little i know.

but also, my dad controls the money for my education. its confusing af & stressful. im thinking of getting career counselling too. what should i do? ged or a levels? be blunt with me. taking ged feels like a relief but there r other factors to consider like my dad and if hes gonna allow it.

Yeah, I get wehre you're coming from, but honestly, a lot of that stems from fear and uncertainty. You're way smarter than you think-you never believed yuo'd ace those old exams, right? But you did! It's gonna be the same thing here. Look at what worked before.

Before you totally nix the GED idea, swing by and cht with one of the A-level tutors.They can give you a solid read on whether it's worth pursuing. The GED isn't as widely accepted because it doesn't showcase your smarts the way A-levels do. Trust me, there's value in that.

Two years for A-levels? That's practically nothing! Time flies when you're focused like this. Plus, diving into new stuff will distract you from worrying about your dad so much. It can be super engaging once you get going.

I'll be heer every night if you need help with study tips. What are we tackling first? Juts take it one step at a time.

Fear, yeah. Already did those exams snce subjects were known. Economics not started yet. Subjects staying same because others are way harder. Disinterest is scary. Always forced study gaps from 4th garde till Igcses. Now patience gone. Dad wasted my year. Should've told me earlier. Maybe I was too rigid now it bites back. Am I a bad person? Is trusting and waiting my fault? Ask myself every day. Need to accept A-levels.

Teachers will laugh if I ask about GED.
Today more depressed and tired than last 2 days.

Okay, I'm gonna try posting this in a different way again. Every time I think I've got everything down pat and ready to go, it's like the post button has its own mind and just won't let me hit send.

I get that u might feel disinterested because of your dad. You know how he's been? It's totally understandable to be feeling that way. So what we really need to focus on is reframing everything in a more positive light. The work you're doing now-sticking with the books and studying-is actually going to help you break free from whatever's holding you back.

It might take some time, but once your mind starts seeing it like that, you'll start making progress. Try not to dwell too much on what's already happened, focus more on where you're headed instead. Every night before bed, just shoot me a quick message about something new you learned during the day. It's amazing how sharing what you've picked up can make everything feel less daunting and maybe even kinda cool.
So, are you focusing mainly on the business stuff right now? Or are you diving into all your subjects? You'll likely find yourself gravitating towards certain ones more than others as time goes by-and that's totally fine.

I'm kind of pissed at him, for real, and Dawn, I'm just so exhausted too. Like, it's been a whole decade of studying gaps adn catching up on material over and over again. I don't know how to shake off this funk. Yesterday and today have been total downers with depression and brain fog. Plus,I missed all the recorded Business lectures and still haven't managed to get into Eonomics either. When my doc switched up my meds, my dad went home and told me to chill until he gets back.

Dawn, I feel like such a failure for not even having stepped foot in school yet. It's been rough-crying every day-and I'm so nostalgic of the times when I was genuinely happy. Back then, Anika was thriving, and now, honestly, it's just hard to keep up. And it's tough trying to explain this mess to anyone. How do you even win at something like this?

Remember that time a couple weeks back when I talked to those two students who did their IGCSEs, got theirGEDs, and went straight to Malaysia for school? I was totally jealous because I wish I could've done the same. But my dad's not down with it. I need to talk to him again though, maybe that's just me being pathetic or something. The idea of doing A-level work scares the crap outta me, but at least the meds have been keeping me from spiraling too hard.

You're not a failure,honestly! Every day is a chance to try again. When you say crossing the boundary, do you mean listening to that lecture or actually heading over to school? Either way, i's not gonna be easy no matter what exams you're prepping for. But don't let depression hold you back. My shrink said today I need to boost my meds after being stable for 5-6 years because I'm not sleeping well and life has been throwing a ton of crap at me lately. He called me a gladiator, which is kinda cool. You're one too. The only secret? Picking yourself up when you fall down. And there's no magic timeline where suddenly you become a failure if you haven't done it yet.
So start small-watch 10-20 minutes of that lectuer to begin with. Take that first step and get the ball rolling. Don't listne to your dad about taking a break; now's the time to dive in. You'll feel better about yourself once you do, I swear!

maybe i shouldn't listen to my dad but trust me i'm not lying about the brain fog and depression. for five years i held on to doing foundation stuff but now a-levels are dropped on me. this is a huge change and i am way less resilient. i can go to the coaching centre or watch lectures online but i cant even do that cuz im so depressed. i feel grief. my meds have kept most of it tamed but i need support. maybe ill start watching the lectures again. but despite you, anya - another friend, i feel lonely on this path like everyone else. i got super hyper last night banging my head and hands on the wall cuz i was thinking abt all the hard work i gotta do for 2 years wich i dont see myself doing and im so angry at my sister who left no stone unturned to insult and abuse me (i'm not talking to her anymore) but she was the one who fuelled the foundation dream in me. sorry dawn that it's taking time for me to start running. i feel clueless.

I just wanted to mention something else.A few weeks ago, I talked to two students who did their IGCSes and then the GED before going to Malaaysia. I feel a bit jealous of them, Dawn. I do. I wish I had an escape route from these A-levels.It seems like people keep giving me study gaps that I have to fill in again and aggain. For how long can this go on? Maybe my energy is just drained now, and I don't have anything left for the A-levels anymore.

I totally get the bad brain loops,honestly. The fog and depression-they're brutal, right? I'm stuck in it too right now, just like you. There's this weird thing where I feel paralyzed sometimes.

But heere's the kicker-when I force myself to do something small, things start looking up. It's crazy how a little push can make such a difference. Lately, I've been getting nothing done because my mind goes off on tangents instead of tackling what needs to be done in front of me.
Listen, don't stress about the past or worry about the fture. The present is all that counts. Your sister and those plans your dad messed up? Forget them for now. It's okay to feel alone, but trust me, you're not.There are people around who want to help you through this.

Remember what I said last night-watching 10-20 minutes of one of those videos can make a huge difference. All I'm asking is that you do exactly that tomorrow. Just sit down and watch it for a bit, then let me know what the video was about. It's totally doable, and I believe in your strength to pull through this mini-moment. You're tougher than you think.

I think you're not alone, and maybe you'll find some energy soon. Maybe taking that first small step could help.

Sending big, cozy hugs and hopeful vibes your way tonight!

I'm still thinking of you and sending you strength. I won't leave you. A positive future awaits you, and you will find it.

I'm still around, and i think you'll discover the energy for new stuff eventually. Maybe you already have it inside you

I think peace, love, and hope are really important too

I know the right path is out theere somewhere, and you're gonna find it-trust yourself!

I hope you have a calm day.

Hi there,

I just wanted to say sorry for not getting back to you every day even though I know you've been sending messages regularly. I really appreciate all your texts and it means a lot to me.

Right now, I'm dealing with some tough stuff. Last night was particularly hard-I self-harmed because of the pain and grief. My very supportive Inidan friend helped connect me with a therapist, and we're having our first session on Monday.

I know it might seem like I'm struggling more than usual, and if that disappoints you at all, I really hope you can understand. It's just bene such an intense time for me, trying to process everyything. Last night, the pain was too much, so I huurt myself a bit. My head is swollen from hitting the wall, but it could have been worse-I didn't do major damage.

I'm also worried about my future and how all these years of neglect and emotional abuse will impact me now. It's scary thinking about everything I've missed out on because of my family's actionns when I was younger. I feel so lost with where to go from here.

You really don't need to apologize for taking a few days off from writing. Everyone needs some downtime when they're dealing with a lot, right? I've been there too-when my sister-in-law was going through tough times with her mental health, just knowing she had someone there who cared and listened made such a huge difference. Now I try to do the same for you because that's what helped me.

I'm sorry you're reliving some really hard stuff, but it's great that you'll be starting therapy soon. That can make all the difference. Self-harm is tough because it makes you feel so guilty afterward. But give yourself a break sometimes-each day is just another chacne to move forward, even if one particular day wasn't perfect.

You've got this. Take things slow and steady. It's scary, I know, but don't look at the big picture all at once. Break it down into small steps-like getting out of bed or your room-adn go from there. You're doing great just by trying to take those first little steps

I really hope your day was awesome and you managed to庆贺一两个小小的胜利（哪怕是成功地起床也算）!