On risperidone for about 3 weeks now, honestly

I've been on risperidone, propranolol, and buspirone for about three weeks now, honestly feeling like a lab rat for these docs to experiment with. These meds are totally dragging me down-definitely giving me depression, and I'm just so wiped out all the time. I'm gonna stop taking the propranolol soon because of this stuff:

The akathisia hasn't been an issue even though it was supposed to be a prroblem.
But now I've got these freakin' headaches whenever I try any physical activity or at least feel lightheaded.
Plus, my face has acne everywhere and my nose has become a total mess-bloody as heck. It feels weird when I lean forward, and yoga just doesn't help much anymore.

Now talking about the risperidone, man, it's like everything is impossible to handle. Everything just feels so far out of reach; even little things feel impossible. I'm feeling worthless, honestly-it's maknig me seriously think negative thoughts. There was thhis time where I laid down in a yoga position on the road and only got up when I heard a car honk.

And my mom? She's always asking if I've taken my meds whenever I'm clearly struggling-like everyone expects me to be irritable now because of before, you know? It's like they see me as some kind of monster. The drugs were supposed to help, but honestly, I feel like absolute garbage. I want to stay positive but can't even try right now.

So tomorrow's doctor appointment-no idea what to say about all this mess. These meds have made my brain slow and foggy too. Now I'm also addicted to nicotine from that damn prescription they gave me for the gum-I definitely didn't need it. Sorry if this sounds really down, but I just can't take it anymore, honestly. Something feels off with how I'm being treated; maybe I was misdiagnosed as schizoaffective because my symptoms aren't constant like that anyway.