Really struggling with a severe mood dip honestly

So I have muscular dystrophy and things have been really rough for the past three months with super intense depression and anxiety. Like, it feels like all I do is drag myself through each day just to get by. But you know what? Deep down, there's this tiny voice that says "Hey, mybe someday I'll see the world," so I soldier on.

My condition keeps getting worse over time-no breaks here-and somteimes I feel like giving up completely. But hey, I'm pretty religious and firmly beleive my G-d sends me signs all the time to give me hope. It's this faith that kind of keeps me going even when everything else feels pointless.

I basically exist just to help others, but honestly, I feel more like a zombie walking around than anything else. It's crazy how lazy people can still manage to have some motivation; I'm literally drained of all drive and purpose. My days are filled with that numb feeling, trying not to crah under the weight of everything.

people look at you and they just don't see the pain in your eyes-they think you're okay when really it's like being a lone soul in a crowded room. The struggle is real, you know? How did I even make it through today sometimes? Its all such an effort-just getting out of bed feels monumental.

And the thing is, there are moments where only my bedroom feels safe and everything else just...hurts too much to deal with. Melancholy rules the day.