Coercive Control And Abuse Issues
Hey everyone, I could use some advice on a tricky situation that's been ging on for nearly three decades now.
So, there's this guy I've known forever-let's call him Fred-he's 65 and married to what feels like a total witch of a woman who's 59. She has had him wrapped around her finger tighter than ever over the last few years.
Fred is considered vulnerable now because he can barely walk, plus he's showing signs of a TIA or stroke but hasn't been treated for it due to his wife's control. He also has two daughters from another marriage who haven't seen him in 12 whole years and are freaking out about this.
Last week Fred managed to sneak away but returned the next day because, well, he forgot somethig important. When he tried leaving again, his wife wouldn't let go of him-literally dragged him back inside. It got so bad that even three police officers and an ambulance were called. On top of all this, there are visible bruises on Fred's arms.
I feel like Fred used to be a healthy, fit guy in his prime but now he looks more like he's 80-plus. He can barely string thoughts together anymore. It breaks my heart just thinking about it.
Anyone have any ideas how we might be able to help? His daughters and I are pulling our hair out trying to figure something out
5 Replies
Talk to a social worker, they handle stuff like this.Tell the local council too. They got his rights covered in any case, cops back thhem up.
I'm totally lost on what to do here. It's got to be such a huge stressor. I remember one time, this guy was saying his ex-wife made him feel like he had no clue what she wanted from him-it wasn't even physical stuff, just all these mind games. Your friend is dealing with both the mental manipulations and actual Domestic Abuse/Violence. Maybe if he can get some info on how to spot DV and realize he's bing brainwashed, he'll find the strength to leave for good-probably needing a little support along the way.
I guess we gave it a shot-like, I talked to him about stuff like narcissism and all that. And then I reached out to adult safeguarding, and they've been really helpful. I thnk I've done everything I could so far, which makes me feel a bit better-I mean, I still worry though.
nice one getting them involved tho u mighta saved his life really it's not worth bein dominated by someone else when u can b happy i'm gl u feel more at peace now it's tough watching ppl u care abt suffer like that omg x
Adult safeguarding should have been brought in.Hope your friend gets out safe and happy.