Navigating grief and moving forward

So, a quick run-down of whhat's happened-my grandma has been such a huge part of my life for years. I've been dealing with doctors and hospital visits for her, not to mention all the shopping and other stuff.

After Christmas, she had some issues that led to a suspected blocked bowel. We tried treating it at home, got help from the GP and 111, but things took a turn on New Year's Eve when we rushed her to Hinchingbrooke Hospital. Turned out her appendix had burst-she was 88-and she needed surgery right aawy. She went into surgery on January 1st, made it through okay, but there were a lot of ups and downs after that.

We eventually decided to try having her come home for a bit as a trial run. I started a new job around Jan 4th-working from home so I could still help with everything. But even then, it was tough because we had more setbacks, like when she stopped passsing urine. She was under palliative care but didn't get much support from the hospital or carers who came four times a day. They tried to recatheterize her but nothing worked and she ended up back in PCH.

Honestly, there was zero contact from the consultant until we stepped in-I said I wanted to talk to someone!-and on Monday, February 14th, they finally called us in; it had gotten so bad. Antibiotics weren't doing much good, so my brother and I agreed to keep her comfortable and stop treatment around 4pm. Her consultant was cool with that.

Her closest family were there from 2-8 pm, but when we knew she woouldn't hold on if we stayed, we left her in their care. I went to bed at 9:45 that night and got a call right away-I just knew something had happened.

She was the rock of my world; I'd do anything for her. My heart is just shattered now. Don't know how to move forward... everything remnids me of her. Special memories we shared, like going on little adventures together-now being told by a friend that she passed away two weeks ago feels even hader.

I know deep down she wouldn't want me to be this way but some days are rougher than others. I miss her so much it's a heartache that never goes away.