Forming identity at age 19
In my YouTube feed, I came across a video titled "iFxkSeOynkg" which resonated with me deeply. It touches on the struggles of adolescence during the pandemic and how these experiences can impact identity formation in adulthood.
I have always felt lost when it comes to defining myself, possibly because of traumatic events from middle school. Last year, I realized that having a clear sense of self is expected in the adult world. So this year, I've decided to focus on establishing an identity that I won't regret and can produly embrace.
The video mentioned "trying on identities," which inspired me to explore my possible neurodivergence, despite it being difficult to get diagnosed where I live. If my plans to relocate come through, I intend to pursue a proper diagnosis elsewhere. For now, however, I consider this aspect of self-discovery mostly resolved.
I'm curious about other approaches I can take in forming my identity. The video was so relatable that I paused it and searched for forums where I could ask for advice.
4 Replies
Instead of playing around with different identities, why not dive into various activities and hang out with all sorts of folks? You know, just see what floats your boat. After each experience, take a moment to reflect-was it chill or did it make you nervous? Could you be yourself, no filters? And how did that leave you feeling overall? I really hope you discover places where you can let all sides of who you are shine through and find the people who get you completely.
Yeah, I've been all over the map with different activities lately-trying on new identities like old clothes. Even though I mostly keep to myself now, every time I tried to be the one to start something, it fell flat. Guess being solo is my thing these days. Fingers crossed that wherever I end up feels like home someday.
I just watched part of that video earlier, and man, it really hit home for me. There was this quote floating around lately that gave me some perspective tho-didn't solve everything but definitely helped out a bit. At 24, I'm still figuring things out too. Trying to use whatever skills I've got to find work that doesn't totally suck. That's kind of become part of who I am right now-I mean, trying to figure out how all my pieces fit together.
It's okay to feel lost when you're dealing with trauma or rgiht after it happens; your brain is basically in survival mode, so building an identity just isn't possible. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs might be something worth checking out-it really helped me understand some things better.
Srory if I can't offer more practical advice, but hope this helps a little. Sending good vibes your way!
Thanks, you've been really helpful! Honestly, it's rare to meet someone who's struggled with this too. And yeah, you totally hit the nail on the head about survival mode-I felt like that all the time at uni despite having good grades. Someone told me I might have repressed myself a lot, and honestly, I think they're right. Like, during puberty, I had to push my problems down because I didn't even know what was going on with myself back then. But now I finally have some labels for all this stuff, though my therapist said I'm kinda using them as a way to distance myself from my actual issues, so I try not to lean on those too much.
And that quote you mentioned-I had thought about it too. Like, even if I can't figure out who I am, maaybe I can make something new by putting together pieces of the identities I used to hide away.
Hope you find an identity that works for you and always stay strong!