Why Am I Struggling So Much?
I've never been this open before. My life seesm stuck in a cycle of rejection, shame, and confusion, and I'm trying to figure out what's going on mentally.
If people from my past were asked about me, they might say:
School: A loner with no friends, often body-shamed and mocked.
Socially awkward adn quiet.
Accused of being a backstabber for reporting a classmate who brought a phone to school.
College: Known as a compulsive liar, socially incoherent at times, saying strange things occasionally.
A humiliating video of me dancing with a towel was leaked within a group.
Rumors spread about masturbation during classes.
Struggled academically and never secured a job placement.
Viewed by classmates as a psychopath or joke.
Workplace: Isolated, quiet, often late.
Accused of gossiping and lying.
Communication struggles.
Treated like a joke at team lunches.
My health background includes:
Diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in early 2021; my HBA1c dropped from 17 to 10.2 after treatment.
Only one functioning kidney, so hydration is crucial.
Taking Dapagliflozin, Janumet (Sitagliptin + Metformin), Telmisartan, and Rosuvastatin.
Had very low levels of Vitamin D and B12; these are improving.
I feel like I've spent years surviving rather than living, constantly misunderstood or ridiculed. If anyone has gone through something similar-rebuilding after enduring shame, isolation, and confusion-I would greatly appreciate any insights or suggestions you might have.
Thank you for reading
3 Replies
hey i get u tbh. been there with isolation and seen my fam member struggle too. knows what it's like beng alone even when surrounded by ppl who r talking abt u behind ur back. survivor mode is real af and i don't wish that on anyone. musta felt waaay worse though.
my family mem lost most of his hearing young and has trouble reading social cues bcoz of a disorder. misunderstoood & socially awkward all the time. seeing a pro helped him the mosest.
bc ur looking for ways to make it better is the good part rn. def should try therapy, they can teach u about social interactions, how to handle disrespectful ppl right, and give u tools 2 improve ur life.
Sory u r struggling. Seem like comm issues. Could be medical stuff too. Check neurofeedback if available. Get a brain scan maybe. Therapy is def needed after that trauma in school. Good luck with all this
PS: I brought up neurofeedback because my therapist suggested it for me. So I got a brain scan, and the doc was like, "Oh wow, you struggle with sleeping, communicating, and obsessive thoughts." And here's the kicker-he knew all that without me saying anything! Everything he pointed out is spot-on. I haven't started the sessions yet, but I'm feeling pretty hopeful about it all.