Can u even understnd me lol
plz help cuz my problm iz rlly complex. when i was a kid my dad would leave town 4 work, my bro did too... so i was left with ma and sis who were busy studying and housework.i needed attn but no one was aorund. n i had no friends, jus fam. at 15 i met this guy we became best frens nd he cared about me. i fell in love! knew i had gay feelings but couln't contol dem bc im muslim. it ws hard!! bbut my feleins were so real that i couldn't resist. wanted to tell him.
then one day on what's app, he told me he loved me too!! dat was gr8 for me. felt safe sharing stuff w him. no1 else understood.
bt then he sarted distancing adn suddenly cut off w/o reason... nd kept away fer more than 2 yrs. tryed reaching out but he just said nothing happened. den last week, he came back sayin he missed me but also scared that being close to me might affect my future cuz hes uncomfortable.
now im confused bcoz i still have pure feelins for him. want him close but hes afrid of me touchin or lookin at him. says its abt islam and homos rnt allowed. feels bad dat it's outta his control but still... he cares bout my future.
how do i cope? can't resist these feelins, they hurt. prayed to allah 4 help, cried so much bcooz cant tell ma family wat's goin on. plz suggest smthng or connect me w islam scholars if u can. what should i do? am i gonna get punishd by allah? help me pls
2 Replies
my heart goes 2 u! i read everything & can see ur pan. wanted 2 reach out cuz u were hurting. juts wanna let u kno u r not alone here. im not muslim bt i'm sharin b/c maybe others cn help. but i wnt u 2 no, u r heard & seen here 💕
I totally get where you're coming from when you talk about childhood. In my country, there's this clever book titled roughly "Left Behind by a Father." My dad is still around, but he's always been pretty absent-working non-stop or bickering with my mom. So I essentially grew up without him, and it comes with its own set of quirks (like being clueless about fixing things, scared to drive, but also never touching alcohol or cigarettes).
The word "homosexual" definitely has a lot to do with sex. And just to play devil's advocate here: have you felt any romantic feelings or sexual attarction towards this friend? Just because you care for someone deeply doesn't make it homosexual. Sometimes you jsut crave the kind of connection that's missing, like needing a man-to-man bond or a simple hug.
No matter waht your answers are, I believe God cares about your happiness and well-being.