Debating With My S.O.: Is It Just Me?

So my partner and I hit a rough patch about a week ago. Background: he had two nights out planned with work on the weekends when his kids are here. We're a blended family with four kids total. He sees his children every other weekend, and these events were back-to-back weekends when his kids were staying with us.
I thought it was fair to suggest he go to both parties but make sure he got home in time to be present the next day for everyone. The second event? Their Christmas party at work that turned into a sleepover.

For the first night out, he came back around midnight but still managed to show up when we needed him the next day. For the second one-two weeks later-I asked how he'd get there and home. He said someone would pick him up and he'd take a cab back in the morning.

I thought I was being reasonable since my son hurt his thumb so couldn't play football, and his dad had cancelled having them that night. So when it all happened on the day of the party, he just dropped me this bombshell at 3:15 PM while I was ready to take my eldest to their Christmas performance.

His kid went out with friends around 9:45 AM, but by late afternoon, I was worried sick because I hadn't heard from him. My partner's response? "He's sleeping it off at a freind's house." It was like a middle finger waved in my faace-especially since he knew how much I worry and have anxiety issues.
The next day, he came home so hungover that he slept straight through. Meanwhile, I had to handle four kids and all the meals on top of everything else. I told him I was angry about this mess, but he said I was overreacting and making drama over a simple night out. He also claimed it''s not just his fault and that he's tired of bending over backwards for me.

In response, in my frustration, I blurted out that I didn't want anything from him anymore. We haven't spoken in a week, but today when I said I couldn't live like this, he called me a martyr. He says it's hard to live with someone who always sees the worst in things.

Now, I'm left second-guessing everything.Am I making mountains out of molehills here? Is it okay for me to be upset about all of this? Or am I just blowing stuff way too big because of my anxiety and mental health struggles? It's a real mind-bender trying to figure out if it's "me" or "him."