Feeling envy and desperation
So, here's the thing-I'm 40 and I might never have left my teen angst phase. I find myself staring at people on TV or in real life, feeling all jealous. And there's this friend who's a narcissist but also super skinny, prettier, and more successful than me. We've got a really toxic friendship going on where I sometimes say how lucky she is to be thin. It bugs her, but we don't end things. She'll throw something back like, "Why are you jealous?" or "Go lose weight." It's messed up.
I feel so bad about myself and just generally hopeless. Plus, hanging out with her isn't a barrel of laughs anymore either. I think it's because she always makes me feel not good enough with those hurtful comments-like when she says I'm just okay-looking or something like that.
How do you get over this envy thing? It's driving me nuts
4 Replies
Addressing my thought patterns has been challenging, especially as I navigate a serious medical condition that has led me to distance myself from many people who showed little care or empathy. It's important to remember that we can't expect others to understand our struggles deeply enough to offer the support we need. Finding those rare friends who truly empathize and support us is invaluable. Clearing out negative influences has been mentally beneficial, even though it's sad to know these individuals won't reach out again. Most people who don't face such issues may never fully comprehend until they experience them personally. It's essential to evaluate friendships for their true value and let some go if necessary, but not all. Isolation is a risk otherwise, as we might find ourselves constantly preoccupied with our thoughts. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Thanks for getting back to me and sharing all that stuff-it was really eye-opening, honestly. You come across as super strong and empathetic, which is amazing. It's frustrating because these folks just don't get what it's like to deal with mental illness, and I'm still trying to let go of them even though I know it's not healthy. But sometimes I also feel a bit jealous of their lives-and I think that's probably something separate from my mental health issues but definitely worth addressing.
I mean, wow, you were so brave cutting ties with those toxic friends-I'm having such a hard time doing the same thing. Do you have any supportive people around these days? I hope everything's goiing well for you now.
Thanks again for being there.
I think you're being too kind. Maybe I'm nowhere near enlightened, but I'm 44 and have a lot of life experience. For me to disappear for a bit isn't that hard since I don't do social media. Howevr, I've had some conversations with people where I told them I need love and support, and they didn't provide it. So, while they might be hurt, it dosn't mean they understand what we go through.
My circle is small-I have my family and my husband who are the most groounding for me. Then there's a handful of friends who would come over right away if I called them. And that's enough for me.
I also have young kids with a serious health condition, which really put things into perspective. I need to be around people who bring light into my life and leave behind those who only cast shadows. Do I miss some of these people? Maybe, but not as much.
Thanks for sharing that, you seem really impressive. Your loved ones must be so fortunate to have you around. I'm really sorry to hear about the serious illness you're dealing with. Maybe you'll have lots of good times coming up? Take care and stay healthy.