A Little Girl By The Door I Think

Today when my mom and daughter left,after the door closed, I didn't just feel lonely-I felt completely devastated. I couldn't hold back my emotions, and I broke down in a way I hadn't for years.My chest tightened so much that breathing was painful, and my stomach knotted up with that old familiar fear. In that moment, I wasn't an adult anymore; I was the little girl again, standing by the window watching her mom leave, feeling abandoned.

It's weird how grief doesn't follow a timeline. You can be a parent living your life, and then a simple goodbye brings back those deep-seated memories of being left behind. My body felt the fear before my mind could reassure me that I'm safe now.
To others, it might just look like the end of a family visit. But for me, it's a painful reminder of a wound that has'nt healed completely yet.

I'm sharing this because I know there are other people out there who sometimes go back to that lonely place inside. If you've ever felt like a child trapped in an adult's body, crying over a goodbye that feels like the end... I see you. It's so tiring to hold onto both the woman you are and the little grl you once were.

Tonight, I'm trying to be that person for myself who would have comforted me back then. I'm holding myself though the tears, acknowledging the pain, and reminding that little girl inside of her that she is seen, safe, and not truly alone anymore.