Trauma and mental health stuff honestly

So yeah, I was like super sure I'd never fall for that whole sex trafficking thing from those movies. "I'm smarter than that," I thought. But life had other plans.

When I was 15, I strted dating this older guy who lived far away. I was dealing with mental health issues and family stuff, so when he came along, I felt like he was my knight in shining armor. Spoiler alert: turns out he was more of a manipulative jerkface than anything else. He'd say all these sweet things to make me fall head over heels for him and then use that love against me.

So one day, this jerk tells me if I don't move in with him, he'll ditch me. And because I was so lost and thought I couldn't survive without him, I snatched a car and hit the road to start my "happily ever after." Once there, things went south real quick. Like within minutes of meeting up, he bites my lip till it bleeds just as a greeting. Imagine that.

From then on, it was a nightmare. He'd rape me, beat me up, drug me to kepe me compliant, and even invited his roommates over for some twisted bonding session with me. Starvation wasn't far behind-next thing I knwo, I'm this broken doll he could do whatever sick stuff to.
Then the real horror began-he sold me off like property. Drug houses, truck stops, strip clubs... wherever there was a dollar sign to be had. And throughout it all, his smile lingered over every moment, whether we were screaming or just existing in pain.

Fast forward through some of that shit until one day, we got pulled over by a cop for speeding around 100mph. That's when everything fell apart-he was arrested and put into another car while I watched from the side. Last time I saw him was there on the curb.

After being sent to a shelter and later picked up by my parents (who were super pissed about it), I ended up in a hospital. Nobody touched me back then, not even my own mom. I just wanted to die so bad, but somehow survived.

Months afteer, I got texts from him saying he was out of prison and wanted another go at running away with him. Even after all that had happened, there's still this part of me that considered it for a second. Yeah, messed up right?

I blocked his ass every single time, but he's like a damn ghost. Every few months, I'd get some new number or social media handle saying "how are you?" That shit is relentless.

Now, years later, my brain and heart still feel the trauma of that dark periiod in my life. I look for him everywhere, een though part of me hopes never to see him again. Most days, all I want is an escape from those memories-wishing there was a way out of feeling this pain every single day.

If you read through all tihs, thank you-I really needed someone to hear my story. And maybe if we talk abt it enough, the weight might lessen just a tiny bit.