Trauma from the past
I need some guidance regarding my husband's mental health. I've been trying to understand his behavior, but it has become increasingly stressful and concerning over time.
We have been married for eight years. When we first met, he seemed fine, but now his actions are worrying me. I believe his mental health issues stem from family dynamics.
He lost his mother at 17, and shortly after her passing, his father remarried while she was still alive. Following her death, his relationship with his father grew stronger, along with ties to his older brother who is eighteen years older. His sister-in-law and niece, who are three years younger than him, were also part of this family unit during a turbulent time. His father often spoke negatively about other relatives, making my husband feel isolated after losing his mother.
They planned for years to buy a house together as a family, but at the last minute, things fell apart, leaving him betrayed and devastated. He told me he hadn't cried since her death until his niece refused to purchase the home with him. Even though he loves his niece like she's his daughter, their relationship is more sibling-like, which has caused him difficulty as she's moved on while he hasn't.
Since then, his drinking increased significantly to the point where I had to carry him home multiple times. This addiction worsened after this incident. His father frequently compares him unfavorably to other family members and belittles his abilities, leaving my husband feeling unsupported by relatives who only contact him when they need something from him.
Our relationship has suffered greatly due to these issues. He is now addicted to alcohol, and we argue nightly. When I tried discussing this with his father, the situation deteriorated, as he accused me of speaking ill of family members.
Currently, my husband struggles to move past familial disappointments. Though he loves them deeply, their past actions continue to trigger emotional distress. His inability to work productively has led him to skip jobs frequently and sleep all day. Upon waking, he buys alcohol and cigarettes, spending excessively on these habits.
I am very concerned about his mental health and well-being. Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated.
4 Replies
Honestly,chatting it out with someone is really the way to go-whether that's face-to-face, texting a therapist, or even just hitting up your best buddy. You know, sometimes it's those little introspective questions about yourself and whta you're feeling that can be super helpful. Like, how do you feel about being true to who you are? Or thinking about personal growth and stuff-those kinds of thoughts help you get started on the path to self-improvement.
Anyway, just getting anything off your chest helps move things along a bit, whether it's talking about what's bothering you or even fantasizing about how youd love things to be different. Just putting those feelings into words can make a huge difference. And hey, being your own best friend and supporter through all this is also super important. Anyway, jst gotta keep pushing forward-xx hugs xx
Thanks! I've been trying to talk to his family, but getting almost no support from them. Not sure if they're pretending everything's fine, or if they're just super chill about him being really stressed out.
Is he looking for some assistance--or what's going on over there?
I was talking to the doctor about his mental health, and they suggested that we should talk to his family and explain everything to them. But it doesn't seem like anyonne's really taking this seriously. His father only told me to stay quiet when my friend drinks too much, and his brother called him once saying he needs to do better-that's all. I don't see any real support from any of them. They aren't getting that he's stressed because of the family isuses and the trauma from losing his mom. When I tried brnging this up to his dad, he shut me down and said it was unnecessary drama and my friend is just making things up to hide how negative he feels.