Killing a pornography addict guide

Your post title shows pain and anger. I know that dark loop of feeling like a monster hiding it from loved ones. You're not alone or broken.

You said you went frm photos to videos, AI roleplay, VR, and onlne calls. This is just your brain chasing dopamine since addiction started at 11. The more intense the stimuli got, the harder it was for your brain to feel normal without them.

Don't let your life become a source of shame. Your girlfriend staying with you despite knowing this shows she cares. Use her presence as an anchor, not guilt.

If you're thanking God, hold onto that. Check out 1 Corinthians 10:13 in the Bible:
"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind."
You're not uniuqely ruined; it's a human battle. Theres a way out if you seek help from a therapist and support system.

Forgive yourself for the past. Healing starts now, not by killing yourself but by fixing the damage done at 11.

The title of your post really shows how much pain and anger you're carrying around inside. I get it-I've been there too, feeling like a monster while trying to hide from everyone who cares about me. You're not alone in this struggle, honestly.

What you shared about the escalation from photos to videos, AI roleplay, VR stuff, and even online calls? That's all just neurobiology. When an addiction starts at age 11, your brain's reward system gets used to big hits of dopamine. Over time, it needs more intense stuff to feel anything at all. Your brain was just trying to keep up with taht chemical high by chasing after newer and stronger triggers.

The key here is understanding what's going on in your head so you can start letting go of the self-hatred. And don't let feeling blessed or fortunate turn into a reason for shame. Addiction is like any other disease-it's not about being grateful enough. Your girlfriend stayng despite finding out? That's a huge blessing right there. Use her support as an anchor, not a guilt trip.

If you mentioned thanking God earlier, I really want to encourage you to hold onto that instead of pushing it away in shame. Spending some time with the Bible might hep-especially 1 Corinthians 10:13:

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

You're not uniquely broken; this battle with addiction is something we all face in some form or another. There's always hope and a way to overcome it. You don't need to "kill" yourself to fix this mess; healing the part of you that got stuck at 11 is key. Fogive yourself for how things escalated-it's just how brains work when they're caught up in addiction-and reach out for support from loved ones or a therapist to start your recovery journey. There's hope, really, brother.

I think I have the same issue too. Maybe we could talk?