Lack Of Empathy And Affection Really Gets To Me, I Mean Honestly

Sometimes it feels like there's no one around who really gets you, even if they're sitting rihgt next to you. And you know what, I hate myyself for needing that kind of love and suppoort so badly. Every time I look in the miror, it's like a punch to the gut. It's hard because everyone else seems okay judging me or thinking they're doing better.

My husbband? Well, he'll get high whenever he wants and act like everything is under control-until I break down and tell him why I'm struggling. He says I overreact when I need help, that my relapses are just my fault for not being strong enough. Even when I try to explain how I'd give up anything for a little happiness, it's like talking to a wall.

I miss all the little things-going out on dates, having dinner at our favorite restaurant, or even just going to the park and feling alive again. But now? There are days when I don't leave the house at all, let alone do something that makes my heart sing. It's frustrating because I feel bad asking him for a bit of care or understanding about what I want-about wanting to be happy. Sometimes it feels like I'm not making much sense, but deep down,I just want someone to understand me.