Back after a long break!

Well, I guess you never really stop having those dark moments, huh? It's been like three months since I had this whole "things are looking up" thing going on, and honestly, everything fell to pieces again.

I've pretty much spnet the last few days in bed, just crying. Nonstop, basically. So drrained but can't sleep no matter what.Super depressed and anxious, no help from the state whatsoever. Just feels like I'm at a total loss here with zero income when it all seemed to come together before falling apart.

Yah, I know they say something about God making space for you or whatever, but it hasn't done much good so far. And now, I'm hungry, can't pay my bills, and feel like a huge burden on my BF who's trying his best.

I feel utterly worthless, useless, like I've failed completely. Tried to start businesses again too, but wiht everything going on, feels impossible. Like I can't even get out of bed most days.

And this week has been especially rough. Hit so many brick walls just tryying to get a basic ID for some kind of help. Was told basically, "go to every church and ask if they can help." Really? Didn't my tax dollars mean something? Supposed to get support from the government but no go with no income or savings.

I'm so lost, so tired, but I just pass out from exhaustin when I finally hit a wall.