When pain feels like a workout fail
Sometimes trauma whispers so quietly it's barely there, yet screams so loudly you can't ignore it.
Growing up, I learned that survival meant swallowing your feelings whole-keeping everything tucked away inside because showing weakness was not an option. It felt safer to keep the pain locked up tight than risk letting it out and having a floodgate of memories open wide. Even today, my brain is more comfortable with hurt than comfort, and feeling happy feels almost rebellious.
As a guy, I got hammered with messages like "suck it up" and "man up." You weren't supposed to express pain; you were expected to endure it in silence for the sake of your family. Strength was about gritting your teeth through tough times rather than talking about them. carry the weight quietly and never ask for a hand.
This idea stuck with me for ages, making healing feel like admitting defeat. But lately, I've been wondering if curiosity might be a key instead of a lock. Maybe it's okay to wonder why you're feeling something and not just push through it. Even scribbling down thoughts that seem jumbled or wrong could be a step forward.
In my world, acknowledging trauma wasn't considered brave; it was seen as weak. But I'm starting to question that. Right now, I don't have all the answers-just trying to learn to sit in my own skin, listen to what it needs, and believe that I deserve more than just scraping by.
4 Replies
Aboslutely, you totally deserve to be happy and find love-giving it back too. It's really important to open up about how you feel and not let anyone else decide what makes a guy a guy. Embracing your emotions is actually super strong. Asking for help? That's brave. And letting people into your life? Even better.
In the end, what defines a man is totally up to you-and only you.
sorry abt all ur pain i went thru sim too.its tough unlearning kid stuff. growin up hearin "man up" and sh*t. no one shows u how 2 heal. so u hide the fear and smile thru it. we r not just providers, we have feels n dreams. some of us grew up fast and got hurt. pretending to be strong is diff than being truly strong. i struggle w this but its about vulnerability. challenging norms is ok.
ur vallue isn't in ur silence, its in bng real, resilient and loving despite the pain. u can still b gentle n a man.
i'm proud of u for exploring n sitting with urself. i'm proud of u 4 breaking silnce. u deserve more thna just srviving, u deserve to heal. let 7cups b safe for u
Um, I guess we have similar issues even though I'm not a guy. I grew up in an environment where showing emotions was seen as weakness, and there are other things I really don't want to talk about because I've never been open before. Just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to reach out to, I'll try my best to help however I can. And please, don't worry about the "man up" stuff-they're not right.
Sending you some courage and support. Take care, and feel free to message me if you need anything at all.
So, I've been thinking along the smae lines as before-just sticking with what I learned growing up at home. Honestly, it's crazy how much it shapes your perspective, right? Anyway, to clarify, I'm not talking about some dude here-I'm a girl myself. So if you ever need anything or have questions or just wanna chat, please don't hesitate to send me a text.