Growing up sucks

im so confused rn like my thougths r all over teh place. my bf and i have been together for 2yrs+ (we broke up once but got back together recently). he's literally amazing & i luv him w every part of me, but we dont fit in each other's futures. long distnce ain't happening. i kno we gotta split in a yr which kills me inside. if i start getting ready now maybe it wont b as bad when it happens, but also idk how to enjoy him rite now & not think abt losing him. this growing-up stuff sucks sometimes. i just wanna luv him w/o thinking about no more lol