Sensitive subjects thread

Hey everyone, this is like my first time ever posting anything personal here. My name isn't real-I'll just go with Angel for this post.

I never had a therapist before; the ony help I got was when they diagnosed me with depression at 10, and talking about all this stuff still feles really scary to me. But I'll start from the beginning.

Before I was born, my dad was super abusive towards my mom. Once I came along, he acted like a total hro in front of me and convinced me that everyone else-including his own kids-was against him. So for most of my life, he'd constantly badmouth my family and try to get me on his side.

He also kept telling me that if I ever left him, he'd kill himself-and he threatened to leave me if I didn't follow every single one of his rules. My older sister was out of the picture until dad moved out; we were never allowed to have a relationship before then.

This really messed up how I view relationships and friendshiips, not to mention my self-worth. Somteimes, I still feel like my family dislikes me because of how Dad treated us all differently compared to each other.

When I turned 8, my little sister was born, and suddenly she became his favorite. It hurt when he made it seem like I didn't matter anymore, but those feelings went away once he left the house.

I was mostly alone throughout most of my life, even though I did go to school with friends. But a lot of time, I'd just escape into make-believe stories in my head. When I started raeding manga at 10, those stories got darker and more personal too.

Around 2019-2020, my mom kicked Dad out, but I stlil visited him sometimes even though it wasn't required. Looking back, that was really wrong of me to feel like his emotional caretaker. But I was so scared to leave.

That's also around when I started having these intense periods with severe pain and vomiting every month. It made everything worse. No doctor visits because my family wouldn't allow it-I still don't know what's actually going on, but some medication has helped a lot.

In 2021, I met someone named Shadow (I'll just call them that), and we really clicked. Emotions went froom highs to lows, but they kept me going through the tough times. Without them, I wouldn't be here now.

Since around 2023,my dad's in a different country.The only way to talk was on calls or when he visited-which was rare. My priorities were stories, scchool, and Shadow.

I started turning those make-believe stories into my actual hobby-writing them down, drawing them out, making books. I''ve been focusing hard on that plus school, friends, and shadow ever since around 2025, wich is also when we started dating.

We had some serious ups and downs in our relationship; there was even a time I almost ended it. But thank goodness, we made it through-though things got intense for a few years.

My dad has been trying to get me to move in with him for ages. He says 2026 is the year. My mom wouldn't let that happen because of all the sutff he did (which I can't go into here). But I still felt like it was my duty to do what Dad said or he'd kill himself.

Now it's 2026, and for once in my life, things are actually going well. Got a job, Shadow and me are stable, good diet, amazing friends, journaling everything-so much better than before.

But I finally had the guts to cut off all contcat with him about a month ago without telling anyone why. My mom told him recently that I'm not okay right now.

Today is Father's Day, so I sent him a video of me and my little sister drawing together. He instantly made it about himself, saying I should call him when I have time-without checking in to see if I'm even doing alright.

It was really hard cutting ties with him-he had a tough childhood too-but he just hasn't changed the way he treats people. No child support ever; he never acted like how a dad should.

And now, it feels terrible not talking to him but also knowing what's best for me right now. I don't know if my feelings are normal or what the next step is supposed to be-it's just really hard to figure out sometimes.

Thanks for reading all this. I hope you're all okay too! Whatever you're going through, it matters and it's valid.